Posts tagged fenway park

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Posted 10 months ago
At just $3, there’s no doubt that frozen lemonde (as they call it) is the best buy at Fenway. Not to mention that it’s not exactly something you can sneak in in your shorts. I like to stick one in my pants for a few minutes, cool off, then crush it like a python. Pun intended, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a pun. Zoom

At just $3, there’s no doubt that frozen lemonde (as they call it) is the best buy at Fenway. Not to mention that it’s not exactly something you can sneak in in your shorts. I like to stick one in my pants for a few minutes, cool off, then crush it like a python. Pun intended, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a pun.

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Posted 1 year ago

How I Learned To Face The Music

Going to a ballgame for the music is like visiting a bus station for bouillabaisse. You shouldn’t get your hopes up. As far as tunes go, sports culture has nurtured some seriously rancid cacophony, from the shameless “Super Bowl Shuffle” (and the embarrassing Pats retort, “New England, the Patriots, and We”), to Jock Jams and countless “Cotton-Eyed Joe” mash-ups. Currently, the Red Sox and more than a dozen other teams across the country jam to the insufferable “Sweet Caroline,” while pro athletes like Doug Flutie and Bronson Arroyo have taken the depravity into their own hands.

It’s been a year since I began hanging around Fenway Park, taking it all in for a book about popping my baseball cherry titled How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Sox. In that short time, I’ve come to understand several traditions that are unique to Red Sox Nation, like pounding whiskey nips in the bathroom stalls behind the bleachers, and being extra rude to Back Bay bimbos who work the pavilion like a night club. But what I’ve yet to comprehend, or at least rationalize, is the local sports community’s questionable soundtrack, from “Tessie” to Neil Diamond. If the Yankees, Mets, and Spike Lee suck so badly, then why is a song by a New Yorker — about a New Yorker — the most prized of all Sox anthems?

In search of answers, I dug into the history of Sox jams and turned to TJ Connelly, who mans the ones and twos at Fenway from an open window five stories above the field. A software developer by day, Connelly scored his dream DJ job the old-fashioned way: he nagged a friend who works for the team, then, nearly a year after giving up all hope, received an unexpected phone call to audition for an apprenticeship in 2005 (he became the first-string DJ in 2008). I had respect for the Sox jock before we met; between tedious turds from the likes of Grand Funk Railroad and Ted Nugent, he always surprises with some arcane gems — in the final game of last season, Connelly even blessed me with some Del the Funky Homosapien. You can’t move all the people all the time, but he definitely gets the masses off their asses.

“Don’t get me wrong,” says Connelly, “there are some times when it’s like, ‘Really? I have to play this?’ But you have to get beyond that … DJing for 40,000 people is like DJing for 200 people — if you don’t make it fun for as many people as possible then you’re not doing your job right.”

READ IT ALL HERE

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Posted 1 year ago

Finally Someone Answered My Question About Why They Don’t Serve Beer In The Cheap Seats

Great Brian McGrory column in yesterday’s Boston Globe about how ridiculous it is that they only sell beer in the sweet seats at Fenway. Here’s a sip:

You see, in the $130 field boxes, fans have the privilege of being served beer in their seats. It’s a ritual I’ve watched over the last couple of seasons from the rows above, beer men wandering the cross aisle, always turning down, never up, cracking open ice cold cans and letting the golden liquid flow crisply into a plastic cup.

When they’re done, they walk by you like you don’t even exist. You peasants in the $90 loge boxes, you peons in the $52 grandstand, get up out of your silly little seats and wait in line.

READ IT ALL HERE

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Posted 1 year ago
I’m not so sure about this one. As much as my book might benefit from proposing to someone at Fenway Park, I’m not quite there yet - relationship or baseball wise. Do people really do this all the time? I haven’t seen such a courtship go down, but I wouldn’t put it past a lot of you. If you’re going to get engaged at Fenway, let me know first. I want to write about it. Or - if you have dope seats and want to marry me, maybe we can work something out. alittlecometart: Aw. That’s sweet. I wouldn’t mind getting married at Fenway and having the reception in the EMC. Dang. :D Zoom

I’m not so sure about this one. As much as my book might benefit from proposing to someone at Fenway Park, I’m not quite there yet - relationship or baseball wise. Do people really do this all the time? I haven’t seen such a courtship go down, but I wouldn’t put it past a lot of you. If you’re going to get engaged at Fenway, let me know first. I want to write about it. Or - if you have dope seats and want to marry me, maybe we can work something out.

alittlecometart:

Aw. That’s sweet. I wouldn’t mind getting married at Fenway and having the reception in the EMC. Dang. :D

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Posted 2 years ago

Is There Any Rhyme Or Reason To The Gate Frisks At Fenway?

As a veteran hip-hop journalist, I’m well-aware that there is not necessarily always an official reason for why there are sometimes frisks at shows, while other times there are not. That said - everybody knows the unofficial rule: if the performer is black, they search you on the way in, and if the artist is white, they don’t.

So I’m wondering: is something similar going on at Fenway Park? How come when I went to the game against Toronto two weeks ago, some dude felt my pockets like a doctor fondling a set of testicles - but against the Twins last week they let me right in? I need some answers, because if this is predictable I’m going to start bringing my own booze.

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Posted 2 years ago

What Does the Rule Book Say About: Being Uncomfortable Around This Statue?

Ted Williams

I know what the rule book says about Ted Williams: he’s god - perhaps even with a big G - and the greatest, and frozen, and all sorts of other shit that a non-fan/new-fan like me could ever imagine.

Regardless - this statue creeps me out. Maybe it’s because I walk by it every morning, but it still seems oddly sexual in a seriously ambiguous way. I mean - it would work as a tribute to the Boston archdiocese, but…

So go ahead - accuse me of blasphemy and all sorts of other awfulness. Tell me to shut the fuck up about Ted Williams once and for all. I won’t, but I’m still asking: does anyone else cringe at this questionably criminal tribute?

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Posted 2 years ago

Why Can’t You Smoke At Fenway?

Fenway Toilet

Is there a smoking section at Fenway? I’m pretty sure there isn’t, which is ridiculous. This is what the toilets looked like in the seventh inning at a game last week - full of (cigarette) butts and stinking like, well, worse than shit. Heads will smoke no matter what - they might as well let them so the rest of us don’t have to wait for stalls when cats aren’t even cutting turds.

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Posted 2 years ago

For the Record, I Thought the Winter Classic was a Dumb Idea

Winter Classic

In fact, I gave a nice little spanking right here in The Phoenix…

With the Winter Classic generating so much buzz - select tickets are reportedly selling for $9,000 - many local institutions are planning similar collaborative events. Considering how excited folks are to watch hockey in a baseball stadium, some of these are sure to truly titillate.    

READ IT ALL HERE
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Posted 2 years ago

I’m Not Really Sure Why Dr. Dre is at Fenway Park (but I guess he really is)

Dr. Dre

Maybe he’s writing a book about trying to become a Red Sox fan too.

Or maybe he’s hanging with that dude Dawaun Parker.

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Posted 2 years ago

“Being a fan doesn’t mean you’ve had to be there from the beginning. Being a fan means you’re willing to be there through the end.”

Fans

via theperfectfan via bigbadbruins

Thanks guys. This is exactly what I need to hear in order to not feel like the biggest bandwagon douchebag on the planet for pursuing this mission. Here I come Fenway Park. Going to look for my baseball glove right now. Foul balls, motherfucker!!!

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