Several healthcare professionals have warned that I'll have a heart-attack unless I seek help for my psychotic hatred of pro sports.
As such, since I work less than one block from Fenway Park, I decided that the only remedy is all-out assimilation. During the 2010 season I hit 43 home games, and have since been referring to the Sox as "we" and engaging in all sorts of other foreign rituals.
Stick with me through my struggle to become a Sox fan, as I force-chug hella beer to numb myself like strippers do before they hit the pole. This is no joke. This is for survival, and for my book, "How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Sox," which drops in 2012.