How I learned to stop worrying & love the Sox

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Baseball Fans Don’t Vote. I Have Proof.

While I never expected to actually pursue a book about how stupid pro sports fans are - or at least can be - I suppose it’s been on my mind for quite some time. I wrote this quickie for the Boston Phoenix last season after noticing how few people gave a shit about a pretty damn important mayoral race that was inconveniently happening during playoff season:

You don’t need a fancy political-science degree to predict voter turnout in Boston city elections. All you need is a Red Sox postseason schedule (when applicable).
Using this sophisticated algorithm, I can tell you with some assurance that about 26 percent of registered Boston voters will hit the polls on November 3.
Since 1993 — during the Menino era — that’s been the average turnout for City Council general elections (with and without mayoral contests) in years that the Red Sox made the playoffs. When the Sox fail to advance into October baseball, that number closes in on 40 percent. You might say that Bostonians prefer baseball to politics.

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Posted on Sunday, March 28 2010. Tagged with: Red SoxVotingBoston BaseballBoston Politics
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How I learned to stop worrying & love the Sox Several healthcare professionals have warned that I'll have a heart-attack unless I seek help for my psychotic hatred of pro sports.

As such, since I work less than one block from Fenway Park, I decided that the only remedy is all-out assimilation. During the 2010 season I hit 43 home games, and have since been referring to the Sox as "we" and engaging in all sorts of other foreign rituals.

Stick with me through my struggle to become a Sox fan, as I force-chug hella beer to numb myself like strippers do before they hit the pole. This is no joke. This is for survival, and for my book, "How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Sox," which drops in 2012.

-Chris Faraone


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