Posted 2 years ago

Where are all the haters now? That’s what a motherfucker thought!!!

Posted 2 years ago

If you look closely, one of these ducks walking throgh the Fens has a Jacoby Ellsbury jersey on.

Posted 2 years ago

Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself: 9 - 5 Red Sox!

livefasttdieyoung:

Fuck yes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2 years ago

Had to leave my beloved Bleacher Bar on account of a pack of testicularly challenged older men who were getting very angry that the place didn’t stock every type of Miller diet beer that their wives permit them to drink.

Posted 2 years ago
By the eighth inning it’s clear the Dodgers, a  middling team in the 22-plus age division of Rhode Island’s largest  amateur baseball league, aren’t going to win.
The  guys — a mechanic, a fraud investigator, part owner of a small  manufacturing concern — are disappointed, for certain. They’ve got a  special distaste for tonight’s opponent, the first-place Black Sox.
But  they hardly seem crushed. Certainly not team jester Brian Farley, 27,  who, after sitting on the bench all night, has just talked himself into a  cameo at first base.
"The infield," he says, turning to the boys as he jogs across the foul line, "just got better looking."
It’s  another Friday night in the Rhode Island Senior Men’s Baseball League, a  22-year-old confection of sweat, bonhomie, aching backs, extra-inning  classics, and endless wisecracks.
READ IT ALL: The heartbreak and hilarity of Rhode Island amateur baseball

By the eighth inning it’s clear the Dodgers, a middling team in the 22-plus age division of Rhode Island’s largest amateur baseball league, aren’t going to win.

The guys — a mechanic, a fraud investigator, part owner of a small manufacturing concern — are disappointed, for certain. They’ve got a special distaste for tonight’s opponent, the first-place Black Sox.

But they hardly seem crushed. Certainly not team jester Brian Farley, 27, who, after sitting on the bench all night, has just talked himself into a cameo at first base.

"The infield," he says, turning to the boys as he jogs across the foul line, "just got better looking."

It’s another Friday night in the Rhode Island Senior Men’s Baseball League, a 22-year-old confection of sweat, bonhomie, aching backs, extra-inning classics, and endless wisecracks.


READ IT ALL: The heartbreak and hilarity of Rhode Island amateur baseball
Posted 2 years ago
Posted 2 years ago

I don’t care how badly these clowns are gonna beat me down if they ever see this. Or, for that matter, how much they’re gonna thank me for the props.

Neverthheless, it must be noted that these are some of the most remarkable hat-goggle combos in the history of meathead-kind.

Posted 2 years ago

So it turns out that even friends don’t let friends have wicked crazy discounts for one of the most in-demand games of the year. I’ll take this as a lesson to get rich before the playoffs roll around.

I got two standing room only joints - face value twenty bucks - for a cool $75 a pop. Haggled the guy down from $80 apiece, but still feel incredibly ripped off.

The joke is that I should have just copped these fuckers on Stub Hub a few days ago. Patron of the streets that I am, though, I decided to hold out for my scalper homeys.

One dude got back to me with a discount price, but only after I dropped the mint. All the rest of dem, who I ran into on the street, laughed at my low bids, forgetting how many times I’ve gotten them all stoned, and bought their shit seats when I could have paid the same price from the box office.

No hard feelings, though, as the scumbags at Ace Tickets were also selling SROnlys for $75. It’s like they say: keep your enemies close and your friends closer - especially when the playoffs are right around the corner and Sox tixx are on the line.

Posted 2 years ago
Posted 2 years ago

Only in the Land Of No Happy Hour could this kind of bullsit pass for something you would make a sign for.

Posted 2 years ago

Here’s a clip from a Fox 25 News segment this morning about Paul Nardizzi’s new Sox book: How To Annoy A Yankees Fan (considering that I’m a New Yorker, my guess is that this blog qualifies). Despite the lame interview by epic cornball Gene Lavanchy, this is good stuff; Paul and his co-author Dave Barend are hilarious.

As an added bonus, my longtime Boston Phoenix (and Weekly Dig before that) artist-collaborator Mark Poutenis did all the illustrations. Check these dudes at the Baseball Tavern this weekend. No doubt I’ll be pre-gaming there for the Saturday showdown against New York.

Posted 2 years ago

Dear rich assholes who summer on the Cape and in the Berkshires. Please don’t let your Red Sox tixx go to waste. Help a brother out.

Posted 2 years ago
Just once I’d love to see the Sweet Caroline cam catch a glimpse of someone smoking a joint, or sniffing coke off the guard rail. In the least, a good old nose pick or butt sniff will do.

Just once I’d love to see the Sweet Caroline cam catch a glimpse of someone smoking a joint, or sniffing coke off the guard rail. In the least, a good old nose pick or butt sniff will do.

Posted 2 years ago
A nice segue to carry us through the All-Star break…
vandy311:

Red Sox Locker Room Inspirational Movie Speech of the Day: Brad Pitt from Inglourious Basterds
“My name is Lt. Aldo Raine  and I’m putting together a special team, and I  need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y’all  might’ve heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be  leaving a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into the Bronx, dressed as  civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin’  guerrilla army, we’re gonna be doin’ one thing and one thing only…  killin’ Yankees.
Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I sure as hell  didn’t come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand  miles of water, fight my way through half of New York and jump out of a  fuckin’ air-o-plane to teach the Yankees lessons in humanity. Yankee  ain’t got no humanity. They’re the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin’, mass  murderin’ maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That’s why any and  every every son of a bitch we find wearin’ a Yankee uniform, they’re gonna  die.
Now, I’m the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger.  That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that  of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Yankees, and through  our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence  of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies  of their brothers we leave behind us. And the Yankees won’t not be able  to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at  our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Yankee will be sickened by us, and the Yankee will talk about us, and  the Yankee will fear us. And when the Yankee closes their eyes at night  and they’re tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done,  it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good? …  That’s what I like to hear.
But I got a word of warning for all you  would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit  you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one  hundred Yankee scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me one  hundred Yankee scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Yankees. Or  you will die tryin’.”
AL East standings headed into the All-Star break:
1. Red Sox (55-35)    2. Yankees (53-35, 1.0 GB)

A nice segue to carry us through the All-Star break…

vandy311:

Red Sox Locker Room Inspirational Movie Speech of the Day: Brad Pitt from Inglourious Basterds

“My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I’m putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y’all might’ve heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leaving a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into the Bronx, dressed as civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin’ guerrilla army, we’re gonna be doin’ one thing and one thing only… killin’ Yankees.

Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I sure as hell didn’t come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of New York and jump out of a fuckin’ air-o-plane to teach the Yankees lessons in humanity. Yankee ain’t got no humanity. They’re the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin’, mass murderin’ maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That’s why any and every every son of a bitch we find wearin’ a Yankee uniform, they’re gonna die.

Now, I’m the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Yankees, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the Yankees won’t not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Yankee will be sickened by us, and the Yankee will talk about us, and the Yankee will fear us. And when the Yankee closes their eyes at night and they’re tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good? … That’s what I like to hear.

But I got a word of warning for all you would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Yankee scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me one hundred Yankee scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Yankees. Or you will die tryin’.”

AL East standings headed into the All-Star break:

1. Red Sox (55-35)    2. Yankees (53-35, 1.0 GB)

Posted 2 years ago

Canvas Alley rooftop view. If I could afford season tixx, I’d probably get them right around here.